Top 7 Best Gambling Jokes You Should Tell In a Casino

A land-based casino is the best place for gamblers to entertain themselves during their leisure. When you visit a casino, you get more than just the thrill of gambling. You meet new people, share life experiences and listen to amazing gambling jokes. The fun in a landbased casino is far more than the fun you enjoy when you’re using an online casino except you’re naturally an introvert. To enjoy your visit to the casino, you have to contribute as much as you collect. So, don’t just listen to conversations, contribute and tell jokes too. If you don’t know any interesting gambling jokes, all you have to do is learn some. There are different types of gambling jokes. Some are for poker games, some are for card games, some are for slot machine games and some are for gambling in general. There are even gambling puns and wordplay that would blow your mind or the mind of players away.

Top 7 Best Gambling Jokes You Should Tell In a Casino

Top 7 Best Gambling Jokes

1. The Blonde Who Won a Motorhome

One day, a blonde lady walked into a restaurant to buy a cup of coffee. While drinking the coffee, she noticed a peel and win a sticker. As she peels it off, she starts screaming “I have won a motor home” over and over again. One of the waitresses in the restaurant tells her it’s impossible for her to win a motorhome because the highest prize they offer in the restaurant is a free plate of food for lunch. The blonde lady insists that the prize on the sticker is a motorhome despite what the waitress says. The noise attracts the manager who repeats the same thing the waitress said. In a bid to convince the manager that what she won is a motor home, she hands the ticket over to the manager who takes one look at it and screams “W I N A B A”.

2. The Man Who Played Poker With A Dog

This joke is about a man who goes into a bar and finds a dog playing poker. As soon as he saw the dog, he was surprised and curious at the same time. Since he also wanted to play, he went to the table and sat down with other players. All the players didn’t act funny like there was anything unusual on the table. As the man sat down, the dealer shared the card for everyone on the table including the dog. The dog did everything a human would do when cards are dealt to them. The man could no longer keep his curiosity to himself anymore so he said; “I can not believe that this dog is playing poker. He has to be the smartest dog in the entire world”. In response one of the players said; “he is not so smart, he wags his tail each time he is dealt a good hand”.

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3. The Mom Who Tried To Stop Her Son From Gambling

A mother who is worried about her son’s gambling habits goes to the headmaster of his school to complain about the issue. The mom tells the headmaster that she doesn’t know where her son got the gambling habit from but she would love it if the headmaster can help with the issue. The headmaster agreed to help the boy. The following day, the headmaster called the boy’s mother and told her that he has cured the boy’s gambling problem. When the mother asked him how the headmaster replied; “He placed a $5 bet that my bead is false. I permitted him to pull it to test his theory. After he pulled it and confirmed that it was not artificial, he lost the bet and had to pay me the $5. I believe he has learned one or two lessons.” In response, the mother said “No, he’s not going to learn any lesson. Yesterday he placed a $10 bet with me that you would give him permission to pull your beard before the end of the week.”

4. Jack Gambles In Vagas

During a weekend getaway in Las Vegas, Jack lost all his money gambling. Things were so bad that he had to borrow money from another player just to use the toilet. However, when he got to the toilet, the stall was open so he didn’t need to use the money for the toilet. He decided to use the money the other player gave him to play a slot game instead of using the toilet. He won some cash. After winning, he took the money to the blackjack table were his luck increased and he won $5 million. Following his big break, he became a local celebrity who was invited to give lectures from time to time. Each time he went for a lecture, he would talk about how he is looking forward to meeting the man who helped him win his fortune. He said he intends to share his fortune with the man. One faithful day, during the lecture, someone in the audience stood up and said: “I am the one that gave you the coin”. In reply, the man said “You are not the one I am looking for. I am looking for the man that left the stall open.”

5. The Boy Who Swallowed a Quarter

During a game in the casino one faithful day, a man started screaming “My child is choking! Help, he swallowed a quarter! Somebody, please help him! As expected, one of the players in the casino quickly offered to help because he has ample experience with things like these. The man quietly put his arms around the boy’s tummy and squeezed until the quarter came out. After that, he walked quietly back to his seat without saying a word. The relieved and grateful father asked the man; “Thank you so much, are you a paramedic? In reply, the man said, “No, I am not, I work for the IRS”.

6. Should We Tip the Dealer?

One day in a casino, a player who had a thirteen count hand was arguing with a blackjack dealer. The argument was about tipping. The dealer said it was important for the players to tip the dealers whenever they are dealt good cards. The player had the opposite opinion. He said that the dealer should not be tipped because they have no control over the cards that are given to the player, whether it is good or bad. To counter the payer, the dealer said “do you tip the waiter when you eat out? The player said yes. In response, the dealer said “I serve you cards just like the waiter serves you food. So you have to tip me too”. To wrap it up, the player said “okay, but the waiter always gives me what I want. So, give me an eight.”

7. The Drunk Blonde Who Gambles Naked

One day, a drug blonde from Ireland walked into a casino and placed a bet of $20,000 on a single game. Before the dice were rolled, she said to the other players “I hope you guys don’t mind but I usually feel lucky when I play completely naked”. Without waiting for anyone to respond, she strips naked and rolls the dice. While the dice are rolling, she screamed: “Oh baby, Mama needs some new clothes”. As soon as the dice stopped rolling, she screamed in excitement because she won. She hugged the dealers while she was still naked. After that, she wore her clothes, packed all her earnings and left the casino. When she stepped out, the dealers stared at each other cluelessly until one of them asked: “what exactly did she just roll?” Another dealer replied, “I have no idea, I thought you were paying attention?”

These are just a few of the most common gambling jokes. You can tap into your creative juices and come up with great gambling jokes yourself. Don’t feel bad if others don’t find your jokes funny. Just keep trying and you will get there eventually.

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